Friday, October 26, 2012

Will I deny Him?

Triumphant Victorious Reminders
Inspired by the Holy Spirit
Written by: Teresa Criswell

"This is a true saying: If we die with Him, we will also live with Him.  If we endure hardship, we will reign with Him.  If we deny Him, He will deny us.  If we are unfaithful, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself."
~ 2 Timothy 2:11-13 ~

It's a cold, damp, dark place. Tiny particles of light hardly pierce through the seemingly rotting material. There is a sense that the structure is fragile, barely being held together as fear overwhelms the atmosphere of this place.  The creaking sounds seem to be in 'surround sound' as I slowly look around shaking as my arms are crossed over one another. My back slightly hunched over as my teeth chatter at rapid speeds because of this lonely, scary dark place.  I become overwhelmed as every sound seems to move and shove me until finally I find myself in the corner not knowing which way to go.  As my eyes begin to adjust to the darkness my first instinct is to assess, "How do I escape?"

Suddenly a forceful burst through the doors reveal the captor of my mind.  I attempt to curl up in the corner, slowly sliding down like a helpless child hoping that the more I shrink back I will become invisible.  But there's nothing I can do.  Sitting in the corner, curled up in the fetal position I wait for the first blow as I do my best to guard myself.  In moments I hear the eerie sound of what seems to be the hammer of a handgun being cocked back accompanied by a familiar voice.  Wait! It can't be.  This voice is familiar...this person sounds just like me.  Startled, I look up and I hear, "If I told you the only way you can live is by denying that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, what will you do?"

Suddenly I'm back to reality...standing in my room I ask  "God, I say that I would not deny you if a gun was held to my head, but could I really do it?"

I sit here as my fingers dance upon the keyboard while my mind is captured by this scenario.

Jesus, I say that I wouldn't deny You, but I clearly know there are times when offenses have come and I barely fix my eyes on You as the circumstance squeezes the reality of I'm more concerned about me, myself and I.  I also realize that the best way to shield from falling in the trap of denying my God is to become more concerned for the hearts of others, especially the ones who I 'feel' or even have hurt me and be concerned for their very lives more than my own.

This is so opposite of what me, Teresa wants to do. Yet, this dark scenario has led me to realize that I am way too concerned about my ego, feelings and what people 'might' think of me than what I truly need to be concerned for and that is for especially the souls that are in utter misery, full of torment and sucked into the lies of "no one cares".

Today I am triumphantly and victoriously reminded; becoming more aware of how Christ truly esteemed each of us more than Himself...ensuring that we would know we are His Masterpiece and because we know this we must walk with our heads lifted high craving to do this for others...holding their head up high to see the Lifter of their heads, Almighty God!

Just as The Holy Spirit of God is continually patient with me...whether He leads me to love my perpetrators from afar by continually praying for them with fervency or being led back to display the love of the Father over them...however we are led, we must follow the Spirit of God's lead...for I am learning that obedience will allow us to be actively in opposition of denying Christ Jesus.

I am reminded that denial is not just in the midst of a life and death scenario...but it is also in my every day living...when I moment by moment deny my ego and pride I have actively and openly admitted that "YES MY REDEEMER JESUS LIVES AND NO MATTER WHO DENIES HIM IT DOESN'T CHANGE THAT HE LIVES!

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